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Loss

34 On December 4, my Daddy passed away. He was 57 years old.

Dealing with this kind of loss is new to me, but I know many friends who've already been through it. Some days I think I must be doing better, and then other days I think I'll never live through this.

The pain is so real, it's almost physical.

As many of my readers know, he battled colon cancer last year. At the initial diagnosis, he was given 2 years to live. He went through chemo, and by summertime, he was cancer free and living his normal life. Such excitement!

Then, this fall, he began having some stomach pains, which he didn't even share with my mom at first, not wanting to worry her. Finally, he decided to go in for a checkup, where they discovered the cancer was trying to return. They decided to attack it agressively.

From that point, everything was a confusing blur. He had complications from the treatment, which resulted in two surgeries in one week. The chemo caused his body not to heal properly from the operations. His kidneys and liver began to fail, and he developed pneumonia.

Six weeks from the time he went to start treatments, he was gone.

I still can't believe how quickly it all happened. It's hard to believe he's really gone. He was one of those people who really lived. He was so FULL of life. Our world is much different without him.

He left behind two daughters and 11 grandkids. I think what makes me the saddest is to think about my younger children who won't grow up knowing their Grandad.

But I know without a doubt that my Daddy is in heaven, worshipping at the throne of Jesus. He loved God with all his heart. He led many, many people to Christ.

He left a legacy that has been an inspiration to our family and the many people that knew him.

His loss is bittersweet. The pain of losing a parent is very bitter. But the knowledge of where he is now is amazingly sweet. I know he is so happy, and celebrating an eternity free of pain.

If you've been through this kind of loss, you already know what we're going through. Time seems to drag by, and the sadness is at the front of my thoughts all day. I appreciate your prayers for my Mom, my sister, and our family members during this time.

I've blogged about my Dad before. If you'd like to know how great he was, and why we miss him so much, read :

http://400things.blogspot.com/2009/10/open-letter-to-my-dad.html

http://400things.blogspot.com/2009/03/children-are-blessing.html



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